Lets review the weekend. Carrot Chopper came home after, true to her name, chopping off someone’s limb and proceeded to eat every avocado in sight as well as every nut, twig, berry, grain, fruit, vegetable or generally salady or grainy item, left my cupboards bear and did it all while standing up, including chopping off the limb.
Pot Roast eco drag raced a dude in an identical black Golf TDI. For those of you not familiar with eco drag racing it goes like this. You pull up to someone at a light in a car suitably matched to yours, say a Prius vs a Prius. Then you point to the person and finger wave in an intimidating manner. You both then shut off your engines and roll down your windows. You say “How much you getting” and you exchange gas mileages. The high number wins. Roast won the race, by the way, but we think he was coasting on the down hills.
The puff of cream came home with a knife collection to rival Jack the Rippers. We all were awed by the fact the every single item including the thermometer was etched with the CIA logo. I thought they would be more secretive than that.
Stick of Butter witnessed Portcullies massively bone headed move of karate kicking the China cabinet and smashing a glass picture frame to bits. I am really surprised the Red Queen didn’t jump up and chop off my head but chopper just handed me the dust pan instead.
Pot roast fashioned an Eastern European Check valve to fix the broken water system, during the repair the sump pump decided to let go and blow up in a plume of smoke. This garnered that ultimate male bonding ritual of a trip to Home Depot and a lightening of my incredibly generous fathers wallet by $200 bucks.
John Mayer showed up and played Lil Puffs grad party. Fabulous Stuff.
Lil B graduated from high school and we all started counting the days till his mess is out of my...I mean he leaves for college. And the naked room is only month away folks!