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Wednesday, February 29, 2012

The less you know about some things... the better

When I was a young college intern at General Motors I used to play tennis with a group of guys after work. After tennis we would sit on my friends back porch and he would bring us frosty glasses of draft beer from the keg in his garage. Seemed great, life was good. Then one day I wanted another beer and I volunteered to get it myself. I grabbed a fresh glass from the freezer and poured myself a cold one. I asked him what to do with my used glass and he said to put it on the towel on top of the fridge. I figured he washed them later. Then one day as I was leaving, I saw him put the used glasses on the towel directly back into the freezer.

I can apply this metaphor to many situations I have encountered in life. You are fat dumb and happy until you realize your drinking frozen backwash swill from dozens of other people.

So what have I learned..... As the saying on the best beer I have ever tasted goes.. Drink from the Can!

Thursday, February 23, 2012

No Impact man tries to go greener..or browner...

Full Disclosure....I was practicing the technique featured in the above video.
That was until the Red Queen asked me what the hell was the deal with those sh--t rags in the bathroom, then she yelled "Off with his head" and now I am back to toilet paper.

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

No Impact Man

I have been ruined for life! Why you ask....

Well I read this book entitled 'No Impact Man'. There is an accompanying documentary which you can watch on Netflix. But the book is way better than the movie. Find it at your local library as to have the minimum impact.

But back to the original question of why I have been ruined. The book follows a man who attempts to live for one year and make zero garbage (no landfill impact), produce zero carbon emissions (Do you know what they call a pile of horse manure in the road? that's called an Amish Carbon Footprint). and buy only local produce and goods. He even goes so far as to not buy anything new. The guy ends up drinking spoiled milk and living in the dark but that's his dilemma, now here is mine.....

When you combine a person trying to be more socially responsible (worried about the impacts we are making to global warming, Arab oil, Chinese goods, landfills, pollution, water usage etc.) with a warped engineering mind that is always trying to optimize everything, with a person with limited funds and resources and what do you get.....You get me. How you ask...let me give you an example.

I was riding my bike to work to try to save some money on gas...when one day I almost passed out on the way home. A quick calculation showed I was burning an extra 2000 calories a day to cycle the 50 miles round trip. So I started buying an extra sandwich. Well that costs about $6. So another quick calculation and I find out riding your bike costs twice as much as driving your car when you factor in the food you need to fuel your body. Per mile traveled, food is 3 times more expensive than gas . So bag the biking too expensive. So in this analysis I discover it costs 0.34 cents per car mile traveled. That's everything for the life of the car. So now I am doing these freaking calculations in my head every time I do anything, should I pay the extra $2.00 ATM fee, well yes I should if the drive to my own banks ATM is more than 5 miles out of my way. Ridiculous I know. But you would really be surprised at the results you get when you do the math. Cheapest way to heat your house....Electricity. Can you believe it. I cant even put saran wrap around a vegetable without weighing the impact it will have on my checkbook and the environment. Is it better to put it in tupperware? I told you I am ruined....My friend just recommended I watch a movie about people who dumpster dive for their food. Its called "Dive". So you can look for my feet sticking up from the dumpster at that W place...oh wait ..they sell stuff in the store which is way past its due date..I shall be dumpster diving at Trader Joes!

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

How to Make the Posse

 Everyone needs a posse. here is mine

Savory Chef (Its a wonder I don't weigh 300 lbs)
Pastry Chef. (If she lived at home full time I would weigh 300 lbs)

Bike Guru, muse, fellow lover of Bitter Ales.You got to love a guy in a stocking cap and a leather apron.

Uh, er ,uh....he helps me keep it real.

Mixed Up Martial Arts Trainers.
Fruitshi Chef.