Almost Famous

Well it took 20 years but I landed on a magazine cover. Albiet a very techy geeky rag about the incredibly small population of race car engineers, but hey, if you resemble the remark, go with it.If you are really ambitious then go down to your local bookstoire and plonk down the $10.50 required and buy the thing but I have set up an e-reader site you can see it for free.

http://gb.zinio.com/

username: gdenton@rochester.rr.com

password: debras

Click on the issue and it brings up a reader. If you move your mouse to the bottom it shows the controls. Go to the index and click on the Penske Active (Page 48). Article is quite technical but I am quoted throughout. There is even an old photo of me in there. Its quite an honor and very exciting to have this article done about something that was so secretive 20 years ago.

I am in trouble if this is true

http://grooveshark.com/#/search?q=colon%20song

Two countries separated by a common language

For those of you who enjoyed the Royal wedding or enjoy the BBC show Top gear I though you might find it useful to have an English to English dictionary

Crikey – Something seems odd or surprising

Bloody Hell – Darn it

Shite –Something is of poor quality or I believe that statement is not true.

Wanker – Someone who engages in self a gratifying activity

Tosser – Someone who engages in self a gratifying activity but does it poorly

Bollocks – Also used to describe your belief that something is not true.

Dogs Bollocks – The two things that hang down from a Male Canine. I am not sure if this means they are false.

Knock up – A Tennis warm up, Try saying “Shall we knock up before we start” to your mixed doubles partner.

Cock up – To make a mistake. Like asking your mixed doubles partner to knock up. That’s a massive cock up.

Bonnett – Hood of a car.

Boot – Trunk of a car. Not what you get up your ass if you ask your mixed doubles partner to knock up.

Crisps – Potato Chips

Chips – French Fries. Are they just called Fries in France? No, their called Pomme Frites or Fried Potatoes, which is what they actually are, at least the French got it right.

French Fries – Not in the British vocabulary, the British despise the French, probably because they have good food.

Sorted out – To figure something out. Once the problem is solved they say ”It has been sorted”.

Blimey – Surprise

Limey – English person who immigrated to the USA.

Phrase “Blimey its a Limey” – I am surprised to see you Englishman who emigrated to the USA.

Mates – Your friends. Seems kind of risky to be naming your friends something you do with your spouse.

Shag – To have intercourse. Can be used as a noun verb or adjective. To have a shag , To shag, or as Austin Powers says to be shagaliscious. I guess that means… well we all know what it means so I wont describe it.
Rubber – The thing on the end of a pencil not to be confused with the thing you put on the end of your pencil when you have one of the above.

Queue - Get in Line. You can "queue up", "get in the queue" or just plain "queue". Either way, you will be there for awhile.

Petrol – Gas. I cant think of anything funny to say about gas. I guess gas isn’t funny. Wait it is. Very funny indeed, as Phil shows us here, "Thats got to feel good "Phil".

Again with the News

Republicans don't believe the President when he says he positively identified the pictures of a deceased Osama Bin Laden and are demanding  to see the death certificate as proof.

Which kind of makes sense because until recently they did not acknowledge that the president had actually been born.

The President meanwhile is demanding the release of  Donald Trumps membership card in the Hair Club for Men.

HFL Nordic Yearbook

Open publication - Free publishing - More hfl

Little Wing

http://listen.grooveshark.com/#/s/Little+Wing/3rbhVG?src=5

 

Listen to the above.

I find listening to this nothing short of a religious experience.

I would give my left arm to play guitar like that, although if I lost my left arm I wouldnt be able to play guitar. A conundrum at best. Speaking of losing your left arm I saw the move 127 hours last weekend. This movie makes me feel like any day that doesn't end in sawing your own arm off with a multitool is a good one! 

Ma Familia

I though I might take a minute and introduce my family

The Red Queen

Tim Burton didnt even get it close when he portrayed his wife in Alice in Wonderland. "Off with their heads", mild in comparison to what this queen will do to you if you cross her. A combination of Italian, Russian and Irish bloodlines topped with a red mane, yields an unwieldly mix of love, emotion and fire.

 Cream Puff

Most often seen driving a white Prius and hanging out with Pot Roast, Cream Puff boasts a stunning variety of culinary and design skills. 

Carrot Chopper

Carrot chopper can be found hanging out with Buttery Sticks and running her a** off. She is a known Vegan and foe to plants. She rips live carrots out of the ground, chops off their heads, skins them alive and eats them for breakfast (Gruesome). 

Little Brother

Little brother boasts a wide variety of ball juggeling skills and fancy dance moves. A known mohawk wearer, he is currently seeking a place of higher learning and a new love.

Port Man

Port man is a cancer survivior, father of three, three time half iron man finisher, all around great athlete and award winning Engineer. (Hey, If you want to boast about yourself get your own blog!).

The News

And now for the news

People around the world have discovered if you protest load enough and long enough you can overthrow any dictator. This has or is happening in Tunisia, Egypt, Libya and Wisconsin.

Boeing landed a contract to produce the US Air Forces Airial Tanker Fleet, wrestling the winning bid from a European competitor. Boeing workers applauded the US government for buying American. They then celebrated by getting in their Hondas, Toyotas and Hundais and driving to Walmart to buy a bunch of party supplies made in China. Correction: The management drove BMW's and went to Applebees.

Married New York Congressman Chris Lee had to step down in shame after soliciting a relationship with a woman he met on Craigs list. Apparently Chris forgot the things he was taught in Congressional Freshman orientation.
1) Never use your real name or congresional e-mail address when soliciting sex on public internet sites. "Hey its me Chris Lee my e-mail is chrislee@nycongress.gov wanna have sex wth me? Please dont tell anyone who I am.
2) Never make it look like your flexing by making a fist when taking a topless picture of yourself.
3) When soliciting sex try to use off the grid internet sites like HORNEYNYCONRGESSMEN.COM
or IFYOUREALLYNEEDITTHATBADUSEYOUROWNHAND.com or YOUSTUPIDIDIOTWHYCANTYOULOVEYOURWIFE.com or ISTHATREALLYYOURBODYORDIDYOUUSEPHOTOSHOP.com or ITREALLYLOOKSLIKEYOUPHOTOSHOPPEDTHATBODYIN.com

Taking it up the butt

 In a 48 hour period I...

1) Completed my taxes

2) Received my annual bonus. Which is shrinking at an incredible rate. While J&J profits soar.

3) Will have a colonoscopy.

I am not sure which of these is worse although they all reduce to the same thing...see title above.

Sorry there is no picture but even I think that would be inappropriate

And I add this , A blerb I did for a magazine article (I think its funny)

Gary Denton is a retired racecar engineer. He currently resides in Rochester, New York with his family. These days Gary spends his time cross country skiing, cycling and golfing. By race engineer work hour standards, he occasionally visits a place where he designs clinical diagnostic analyzers for a division of Johnson and Johnson health care companies. Gary holds a BS in Electrical Engineering from GMI Engineering and Management Institute and 6 patents in the area of Vehicle controls. He has received numerous awards including developing a low tire pressure monitoring system which won the SAE Louis Schwitzer award for Engineering Innovation and Excellence in 1995.

These are a few of my favorite things

• Jazz Music, Monk, Dianna Krall, Duke, Miles its all good.

• Coffee Starbucks Dark roasts black, Espresso and Cappuccinos. I make the best ones. See A poor mans Cup post

• Red Wine, deep dark dry reds.

• Great Food, Italian (cooked by my wife, she has this thing with garlic and olive oil that's absolutely intoxicating. People still talk about dinners they came to at our house years later. Most often asked question "Gary how come you dont weigh 300 lbs. Sushi and Indian food is also good.

• Red Wine with the above

• Single Malt Scotch Whiskey after the above

• Beer, Hoppy interesting beers not that crap they advertise on TV. Oh by the way if you see an ad on TV for something you dont want it. Think about it if something sells well on its own merits why do they need to cram it down your throat.

• Merino Wool - Hats, Socks Sweaters, its so soft.

• My Family, all are extremely talented and wonderful

• Mountain Biking its like Zen Meditation just try to think about your troubles while careening down a steep drop

• Road Biking, Carbon Frames are very cool

• Roller Skiing on my pneumatic wheel custom wooden roller skis. Took me 4 years to perfect the design.

• In the interest of keeping this PG I will call it Love, sorry kids and Steve.

• Cross Country Skiing (Skate skiing is almost as good as the above, but not quite)

• Working out. Full body and core workouts are the best. I realized lifting weights for bulk was rediculous 6 years ago.

• Golf, very meditative, I enjoy hitting at the range as much as playing. After 12 years of concentrating to get good at this I think I have accomplished the goal.

• Fixing stuff. I love restoring life to old things and making stuff work.

• Hiking in the Adirondacks. Views are spectacular.

• Cooking. Indian is my newest love, Making Sushi Rolls.

Now the hard part is doing all of these in one day. I have tried and I always run out of time.

These are a few of Things I hate

• NFL and College football. See previous Blog posts

• Budweiser, Miller lite etc

• Large Corporations that are turning our environment into a sess pool

• WalMart - See Above or under large Corporations selling our standard of living to China

• TV commercials

• TV shows. Most are Nonsense. The WWE has a huge following, "Its make believe folks" Its not real.

• CNN, Fox news, the news in general, its never good

• The two party system

• Highly paid CEO's, making 300 or more times the average workers pay. 20 years ago it was 30 times

• The unsustainable increase in college tuition and healthcare. Over 10% a year! Inflation is at 3%. The Cost of these things have doubled (adjusted for inflation) over the last 20 years thats

• Smart Phones and those who are distracted by them

• Face Book and those who are distracted by it.

Other than that I really don't have much of an opinion about anything!

I Give Up

Actual wording from a website I need to use for Travel:
Your new password must contain the following requirements.
Longer passwords and passwords that are not common words are more difficult for others to guess.
Please enter a new password containing at least 8 characters , containing at least 1 numbers ,
containing at least one uppercase character , containing at least one lowercase character ,
containing at least one special character , which is different than your previous 5 password.
..and they expire every 60 days.

I have at least 20 different internet sites I need to keep track of passwords for....
Next thing you know I will need to submit a stool sample to gain access to my banks web site...
It a pretty crappy financial time these days so its fitting dont you think!