Top Chef

 

Cream Puff has done it again with her Chef Gregory Barnhill, winning Best Entree and Best in Show at the Colorado Springs Chorale Chefs Gala . OK its not the Food Network and they are a AAA Four-Diamond restaurant and they did make surf and turf and sir sous vide short rib scallop and duck confit (Sorry Carrot Chopper) with asparagus and saffron potato puree. How can that dish not win!

Fast Friends

If you have been paying attention you will have noticed that the Carrott Chopper and the Buttery Stick have been tearing up the NCAA Div I track circuit as of late. Chopper was named to the Academic All-Mid-American Conference  squad for track and for Cross Country and has been breaking PR's like she rips the heads off of carrots. Winning a steeple chase event at UR and frequently being the top distance runner at UB. Meanwhile, Buttery Stick ran a PR of 3:45 at a 1500 meter event. For those of you keeping score at home, that's equivalent to a 4 :02 mile or a 4:00 mile if you ask Sticks Mom Mrs Prozak. This maven of the margarine is closing in on breaking the 4 min/mile barrier! Not too shabby! And that's two of the fastest 'friends' I know! I will refer to them collectively as Carrot Stick.

**Notice the mid-foot strike running form of Chopper and Stick as talked about in my previous blog.

How to Make the Run

Last year Buttery Sticks loaned me a great book entitle "Born to Run". I have been forefoot running ever since and recently bought a pair of these Newton Running shoes. Turns out we have been running incorrectly since Bill Bowerman founded Nike.

The Haggler

There is this great NY Times column entitled "The Haggler". Basically the guy asks readers to send in experiences in which they have been ripped off or annoyed by some company. Well, here is my haggle of the day, its called "We are approaching Technology paralysis". and I emphasize this really happened!

I wanted to call my uncle in England, so I use my skype account, the connection was horrible, so I tried my google voice account. My Java Plug in was out of date, so I had to upgrade that. Then I had to add some funds to my google voice account using my credit card, at which point my credit card company thought it was a suspicious charge and called me on my cell phone, at which point I had to log into my credit card account online, which required me to verify my identity by typing in a security code, which was sent to me via text message. Whew! I am really yearning to go back to that old landline where when you wanted to call someone you just picked up the phone and dialed.

Fruit Company Executives caught doing it again

I was going to apologize for equating the Fruit Companies CEO's practices to a dog licking his genitals but as soon as I turn my head away..Apple is Price Fixing...He starts licking them again.

Which brings me to the latest i device the iLickmyselfbecauseican

$378 million are you kidding me...

I recently found out the Fruit company CEO was paid $378 million last year...

Man I really hope he can scape by on that..Perhaps they could have paid him a $1M less and he could have forgone the gold plated option on his new Bentley...

Why do they get paid so much...I guess its not really about what they do for the money..did they earn it..or are they worth it or heavens to Betsy they might leave the company..no they get paid so much for the same reason a dog licks his genitals..because he can..they get paid so much because they can...The CEO is the only position in the entire company whose pay is determined by people they control...the board of directors. So this is why CEO's get paid 300 times the average workers salary while 20 years ago they were paid 30 times and average workers salary..So lets do ourselves a favor..Everyone buy 1 share of Fruit company stock..We are going to have to spend $600 a piece for that precious stuff and vote no at the shareholders meeting when they ask us to approve the executive compensation. I propose we allow the CEO's to be paid $1 million a year and they can figure out how to scrape by on that....

I got this e-mail the other day...thought it was ironic

I really need some sort of device that allows me to easily check my email from anywhere so I don't end up out of touch.... 

Sent from my iPhone - :)

Well at least everyone is not completely obsessed with all the features....

Some more new iDevices

Not long after I posted about the useless distractions of the i series products from that computer company named after fruit, we discover their evil ways of manufacturing such devices for cheap. Not only are the devices ruining our society, the way they manufacture them does so as well. So I came up with some more i devices to amuse you.

The iMadeaFortuneExploitingChineseLabor
The iDidntKnowThisandWillMakeitRight - I see this a lot, from many different companies
The iCantManufactureintheUStherereNotEnoughEngineersHere - Quoted by Steve J... Bull Sh..
Right now I am not making a face but a hand gesture.

The iDistraction

I just finished the biography of a very fascinating person. He invented some consumer devices which made him rich, famous and known as one of the most influential people of our time. Unfortunately, as I see it, the fruits of his labor have actually caused more harm than good.

The first product the "iBankrupter" causes the user to go bankrupt 99 cents at a time. It also causes the user to lose complete hearing function.

The next device the "iDistractor" causes the following symptoms in the user

1) Temporary but complete loss of function of one hand.
2) Temporary partial loss of function of the other hand
3) Causes the user to not look where they are walking and run into people
4) User will stop walking unexpectedly, unknowingly blocking pedestrian traffic
5) User will stare at the device for hours on end ignoring all people within the vicinity
6) User will crash car due to unexpected and unavoidable urge to use the device
7) Once owned by the user the device become a part of them and must be within 4 feet of them at all times.

The final device is the "iTimeWaster". No one knew they needed one of these until they came out and now they are so desired that the version that they had to have 6 months ago, now will just not do and causes the consumer to wait all night in line to fork over $600 for the newest model because "Its screen in sharper".
The iTimeWaster is a device that the user will stare at doing things they can already do in other ways but in a manner so portable it supplants ordinary conversation for a bunch of people sitting around staring at screens.

So if you are addicted to any of these devices there should be a way to get clean.
You know, they need an App for that!