Togther Smoking

***Editors update:Our sincere apologies to lil B' he was originally left out of the roll call at the end of the post. He was in attendance and his name has been rightly added to the list.

Its a Saturday in August and its time to smoke some butt.

...not that kind of smokin

...and not that kind of butt

We are talking Pork Butt. Dry rub plenty of chipotle seasoning salt pepper, ground cloves onto a bone in pork shoulder to get it ready for its 5 hour smoke in the Weber

...

Here is the Weber a' Smokin with Hickory Chips soaked in water placed directly on the coals.

Here is whats going on inside. Indirect heat for 5 hours. Keep the damper cracked to maintain 300 deg F. I had to add fresh hardwood lump charcoal once at the 3 hour mark. Are your eyes getting dry from the smoke!

The finished pulled pork ready for a butter toasted bun. This was enjoyed by P<;, the RQ, Buttery Sticks, Lil B', Carrot Chopper***, Mr ODR and Mrs Prozak***. Sides of fresh slaw and potato salad accompanied.

 ***Note: Carrot Chopper does not eat animal products so she smoked a Tempe instead. Mrs Prozak does not eat animal products or drink alcohol, except when she does, which was not this evening.

Team BTG

Team "BTG" (Authors note: I wanted to call the team the cold showers, for reasons we wont get into here, but I was out voted) anyway we kicked everyone's butt in the Tour de OCD. Who would think 3 old guys would crush the youthful competition. But when you have Mr. ODR who hops into ultra trail marathons on a whim and B-Rad who bikes to work then bikes at work then bikes home...and the Manic Portless man who bikes 50 miles commuting to work (I am not exaggerating) on a single speed, its lights out for the competition!

A Wie bit odd

I was tuned into the us women's open golf tourney and began to laugh hysterically. Seems Michelle Wie thinks shes playing the wrong sport.She is in the aero position during the putting stroke.

and needs Kinesiology tape to play golf. Does that stuff really do anything. Carrot Chopper told me it was all in the head then started using the stuff.

11 year old plays in US Womens Open Golf

This is great. A 5'1" 11 year old qualifies to play with the pros in the US Open. She shoots 78 in the opening round at the hardest golf course in the country. She can drive it 240 off the tee and out drives some pros. What a fantastic story except... PLEASE ....can we lose the exposed stomach.

Donald the Stupid

Your worth $1.9 billion dollars, you are 80 years old, judging from the prime physical condition this guy keeps himself in, he probable has 5-10 years left.

What do you spend your time and energy doing? Trying to dig up dirt on your enemies, that's what. You could do anything you want and not even put a dent in that fortune. Money CAN buy you love (especially in the big Dons case)

Don with two recent recipients of lip plumper implants

but it cant buy you time (just ask Steve Jobs .... oh but you cant). You can't take your wad of cash with ya, so why not spend what precious little time you have left in this world being vengeful, full of spite and regret and use your legal team to play silly catty games. Must be fun for the old fella. Hey, if this is how you enjoy spending your time, then have at it old wrinkled fella! But remember, the most valuable commodity in the world is "time".

Those funny oval stickers...

I saw this sticker on a car the other day...turns out the car was owned by Usain Bolt.

Lets see your Dad do this

Above are the heart rate and elevation profiles recorded by my Garmin bicycle computer during the Rambler bike race last Sunday. The race featured climbs up grades of up to 14%. I sustained heart rates of 178 bpm for up to 4 minutes periods. This is the third year I have done this 30 mile, two and a half hour race on dirt roads and single track. This year was a real slog as we raced in 30 mph gusts. Sometimes on the flats it felt as if I was pedaling to no avail and the bike was at a standstill. I think a couple expletives were yelled at the wind. I apologize to the wind for that.

Easter Dinner Pork Loin with Watercress & Carrot Romesco

Quickly seared and roasted pork loin provided one of the easiest holiday meals The RQ has ever prepared. 

Served with roasted Brussels sprouts, and roasted Yukon gold potatoes it was a meal fit for kings, in this case Portman and our guest. For dessert a decadent apple pie with cranberries cradled in a wholesome crust with crumble on top!

*Thanks Bon Appetit for the inspiration!

Evidence the Supreme Court is Smoking something good..All we ask is that you share.

The Age Discrimination in Employment Act (ADEA) of 1967 states..

[T]o promote employment of older persons based on their ability rather than age; to prohibit arbitrary age discrimination in employment; [and] to help employers and workers find ways of meeting problems arising from the impact of age on employment.

In 2004 the old farts in the supreme court decided to argue about what the word age means. Writing for the majority, Justice Souter explained..

age. e word “age” can have two meanings. “Age” can either refer to any number of years lived, or it can be regarded as common shorthand for old age.

Wheepin Websters Batman..are you lawyers smoking crack. This reminds me of how Clinton started in with that "what  is is " crap.

No you crazy old people! Age means how old you are period. Old age is ambiguous and doesn't mean a thing. Older than what? Here's a picture of me when I was younger, I am older now.

So they take this new definition of Age , which they fabricated ,and proclaim the age discrimination law only works in one direction. Older workers can be favorably treated over younger ones.

Should sexual discrimination only work in one direction too? Maybe they will change the definition of the word sex...Clinton sure tried to.

Thats OK, reverse Age discrimination is illegal in New York State!

Buttery Sticks Celebrates Early....but not too Early

Here I am in my starting position

These are my teammates in their starting poses

Here I am at the 400 meter mark comfortably leading the race

Checking to make sure I can get out the champagne

Time to call my girl friend in Buffalo

Look at the pain on the face of that guy behind me

Thats a face full of celebration

The Tamper Damper

One of the variables you must keep constant when making espresso is the force of your tamp. 30 lbs of force is the established norm. When someone told me about this I was skeptical that the force of the tamp makes a difference. They told me to practice on a bathroom scale. There was no way the RQ was going to let me bring a bathroom scale in the kitchen...and I quote.."What! You are going to put a thing where people put their stinky feet on the kitchen counter...If you bring a bathroom scale in the kitchen its off with your ..." I knew she was serious when she didn't say "head" but  mentioned a different body part.

So I had to think fast..really fast. So desperation is the mother of invention. I designed and built the above tamper damper. Its a simple spring scale that bottoms out when you reach 30lbs of tamp force. Its simple good looking and gets the job done..like Portman! and its never allowed in the bathroom.

Red Queen and Portman go Bottomless

Scroll down for the photos. You must be at least 18 years old to view this content. By scrolling down you are verifying your age.

Portafilter that is... Sorry to dampen your excitement.What were you expecting. I am logging how fast each of you scrolled down by the way.

In the quest for perfect Espresso drinks we have been experimenting with a portafilter with no bottom. Notice the little streamers coming out of the filter. Thats 130 psi of pressure out of control! Perfect Crema in everycup.

Espresso Yourself

Some of the first shots. Lookin a little low on the right.

A few months ago the Portman tried to revive his 10 year old Espresso machine to no avail. Craving that rich smooth flavor of good espresso he started on a journey, little did he know it would be a long difficult road to coffee bliss. Staring with Starbucks, they make terrible espresso. Then we visited the local coffee establishments staffed by hipsters. Good coffee but not quite to the RQs preference. So Portman consulted the only true source of misinformation "The Internet". Watching coffee making videos non-stop around the clock for days, Portman and the RQ decided to invest in "Prosumer" coffee gear. The gear arrived and it was a disaster from the start. Causing extreme marital discourse between P< and RQ. Somehow we can deal with getting me through Chemo without a fight but making espresso caused a shouting match. After hours, and I mean hours on the phone with tech support and e-mailing the designer of the coffee maker we discern the problem is with our grinder. So we order a new grinder. $320 later and more emailing the manufacturer P< decides a different grinder is in order. The old one is exchanged and a new one arrives on Christmas eve. It used to be  P< couldn't wait for Christmas morning to play with his toys, now he cant wait to grind his coffee. Christmas morning a very excited P< managed to coax 3 cups of coffee out of the new grinder, after grinding through 3/4 lb of coffee. After family gift exchanges P< tries to make a second cup of coffee and realized the new grinder is in fact defective.With smoke literally pouring out of Portmans ears and more yelling with the RQ it is a relief when we find the grinder will be replaced by the manufacturer. So we are still awaiting out 4th grinder and have yet to achieve espresso bliss but stay tuned. Thankfully a gift of a MokaPot from CreamPuff saved Christmas day.

MokaPot nectar

Portman Enjoying the BUZZ

Have you seen Naked Portman

The kids left town and so did Naked Portman. The Red Queen is looking for him. If you see him please call Portman or the RQ immediately. Do not approach as his member is very long and you don't want it touching you.