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Tuesday, October 23, 2012


The original use for the Livestrong band
Lance and I have a lot in common, we both like to golf and cycle and run. He is a father, I am a father, he is a cancer survivor, I am a cancer survivor. I have no tour de France victories Lance has no tour de France victories. The list goes on and on...

The trouble I have with Lance is not that he used performance enhancing drugs, everyone did, it was a level playing field. An unfortunate time in history which we have learned from and will hopefully never repeat. The problem I have is that he tried so hard to cover it up for so long, using his lawyers to lie for him and threatening his teammates and teammates wives. He lied to us, believing he was above it all.

Friday, October 19, 2012

Disrobing Guide for Princesses

In case you have not been reading your supermarket tabloids I will catch you up. Some photographer snagged a long distance shot of princess Kate bearing parts of her body that normally don't get much sun, if you know what I mean. Now if I were the royal advisor I would issue the following memo to Kate.

To: The Dutchess of Cambridge
cc: The Duke of Cambridge and all other royals
From: The Royal Advisor
Subject: Bearing of the Royal Jewels

 Princess, in the future if you happen to get an urge to drop your trousers due to a terrible case of swamp ass or itchy butt or whatever, look up, if you see daylight, stop, lest risk bearing your muffin to all the tabloids and the world. You must know by now you have a lens pointed at you 24 hours of the day 7 days a week from every conceivable angle. This eliminates the following activities from your repertoire , how ever much you enjoyed them in the past

1) Nude sunbathing
2) The aforementioned bearing of private items in sunlight
3) Peeing outside
4) Nose picking (This was already covered this in the royal orientation)
5) Itching any area of your body where the sun usually does not shine
etc, you get the idea.

I know you enjoy reading the make the face blog and Portman engages in all these activities but that does not mean you can do them too.


 The Royal Advisor