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Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Excuse me, but is that your Ferrari

We were out for a beer tasting with Pot Roast Cream Puff and the Red Queen and someone had parked the above red Ferrari Testarossa in front of the brewery in full view of the tasting room. A gentlemen asked me the question that is the title of this post. I responded "Well yes, as a matter of fact that is my Ferrari". Then I spent 5 minutes convincing him it wasn't.  Well I guess I look like a guy who might own one, except for the fact I know my penis is not that small (See previous post for evidence, Don't worry that's really just  a clothes pin and a match stick, had you fooled didn't I).  I digress, which I often do, must be the ADD. Did you know the medications for ADD are actually amphetamines.. there I go again... Anyhew. As we are standing there talking about how well endowed I am, a guy similar to this, except fatter, and with bad tattoos he was wearing the wife beater (belly hanging out) and arm pit hair sticking out too. I will make a cloths pin and call him RedNeck Ferrari guy, I promise you he will have pants on.

As the guy appears and gets in the car, the two female acquaintances of the gentlemen I was talking to, let out a collective Ewwwww. Then one of them says "He's obviously compensating".

It was like that old sesame street skit  "Two of these things do not belong together". It was like watching a democrat cut taxes on the wealthy or that little girl on Americas got talent with a voice like a 30 year old opera star or that African American guy who sings like Sinatra. You just don't believe what you are seeing. It doesn't make sense. Nada a computee.

Friday, September 9, 2011

Portmans Naked Room

 Well the kids are all grown up and off at college. So Portman, aka port-less man aka portcullis has taken Lil Bs old room and turned it into the naked room ala Terry Bradshaw in the movie "Failure to Launch". Well in our case its more like a naked house (call before you come over or you may get an afternoon surprise). Scroll down to see Portman enjoying his naked room. Note the farmers tan, it is the end of summer after all.

Thursday, September 8, 2011

The Lake Placid Iron Mangan

As you can see from the above video, the events that make up an Iron Mangan are as follows (All events must be done with a Mangan)
1) Scale Algonquin mountain. A 4 hour hike with 3000 feet of climbing with a 1 mile stretch at 25% grade
2) Bike up White face mountain. At 4687 feet. a 3300 foot climb over 8 miles. 8% grade. This is a greater than a one hour effort at about as hard as you can pedal a bike.
3) Roller ski 10 miles up and down some pretty big hills. See video for one of the descents! Remember these things have no brakes.
4) Go cliff diving off 35 foot cliffs into a cold raging river. Giving cliff diving instruction is optional.
So grab your favorite Mangan and do an Iron Mangan. Its good for your health, I think?

Thursday, September 1, 2011

Aim Here

At my company they have installed a very helpful aid in the urinals in the men's room. Its a target to help you aim in the correct place. Are you kidding me? If you cant piss in a urinal from that close a range you definitely need some sort of help and I mean the kind of help the Red Queen offers. Were that many people missing the porcelain entirely that we needed to install and aid to show you where to aim it. It certainly makes relieving yourself more fun however. Oh no its a little to the left, I need to make a correction, lean baby lean, right rudder for gods sake! Whew back on target. I was panicking there for a minute, the stream almost went in the water but I saved it at the last minute!