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Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Meet the Inlaws

Well not yet anyway. Our kids have been dating for so long..... and we know each other so well...It just seems that way. I shall introduce them from left to right

VO2Max - Resides in Colorado.. Writes for a blog that you must have a Vo2Max > 70 to read Faster Skier.Thinks biking up a mountain with cross country skis on your back then going skiing then biking back down is a light training day.

Mrs Prozac - In such a great mood so much of the time this writer believes she is secretly on Prozac or the inspiration for it.

Mr ODR - If the sun rises this Saturday morning you can be assured Mr ODR went on a 12 + mile run at 5 am with his running club "The Oven Door Runners". Mr ODR is also into a new hobby "Bee Keeping". See this post. Honey Spectator.

Buttery Sticks -Needs no introduction. Dates Carrot Chopper, fiercely allergic to dairy, Got Wart remover for Christmas. The buttery drip

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Sunday, December 25, 2011

Free Media PC

Well there was free bike now we have free PC. It all started with me wanted to hook up an old Dell to the TV downstairs to get netflix. That attempt failed when I needed a new power supply. Pot Roast gave me his old gaming motherboard which sat in my house to 4 months but it would not fit in any case I had. I wanted to build the thing but I promised myself I would spend zero dollars on it so I had to get creative, patient and lucky not to mention tenacious. I collected a bunch of parts from friends a scrap bin and an amazing array of stuff I had around the house which I forgot I had. This PC streams HD quality video to my big screen TV. You Tube, Hulu, Crackle (Seinfeld episodes). Vs. for the tour. Who needs cable when you have a free PC.
 Here is the entire low down as to how free PC came to be.I estimate it would be around $2000 with all new components.
1) Motherboard, memory, Video card from Pot Roast
2) Power supply and DVD from scrap bins at PC recycling place
3) Case from a good friend . I was over his house and saw he had one of the SilverStone cases that I was Jonseing over and I asked him about it and he said he had another one which he would give me for free.
4) Hard drive pulled out of an old USB backup drive. Sorry RQ your thesis backup has gone poof
5) Lithium battery for mother board from my Timex heart rate monitor. I suppose I had to replace this but they come cheap ($1 each) in a pack of 7 from Battery
6) USB cable extension from a box of cables in the basement
7) Video cable to TV from computer monitor in Cream Puffs room. I suppose she will want this back at some time.
8) Memory stick from an old Dell
9) CD drive from old Dell. Poor old Dell it has be raped pillaged and plundered
10) Windows 7 license from Carrot Chopper. I had to pay her $20 to get the student discount. Shhh dont tell microsoft. I suppose its not free now however but since I already had it and was not using it I think it counts.
12) Wireless key board and mouse from Pot Roast. These were in use on an old computer and I replaced them with USB models I had lying around.
13) A boatload of effort in loading the operating system, components and calibrating the LCD. Probably 40 hour of work to build it. My time is free however.

Sunday, December 18, 2011

The NFL Style Guide

As much of a detractor of the NFL I am (Why is this the only sport televised on Sunday, cant we have some Football too, and by football I mean soccer). Its hard to like a sport which features 5 seconds of action followed by 5 minutes of reviewing and re-reviewing the play to see if the guys knee was down. Flip a coin and get on with it already! But I can guarantee, on Monday morning  people will be endlessly talking in the break room about whether the guys knee was down.

I have been enjoying some of the styles being sported on the field these days.

How about these tattoos. I think we are about all out of real estate here.Oh maybe we could wedge some initials in there somewhere.

Apparently if you need to make some room in your payroll you can get some homeless guys to play for you.

Hair out the helmet is pretty popular these days. Extra style points if it is knotted or braided.  Do these guys go up a helmet size for the doo.
It really blows nicely when you run fast too.

If someone can tell the purpose of  those arm bands please do. I have racked my brain and I cant find any reason on gods green earth to wear those things (unless of course your elbows get really sweaty)

Heres another homeless guy. Lately he has been playing like one too.

Sunday, December 11, 2011

And Its

Off with his head! Not 24 hours after penning the rule set, I broke 8 of them, and the queen spoke. See her comment at the end of the previous post.

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Things that make the Red Queen yell "Off with his head!"

Well the Red Queen and I have been empty nesters for a few months now and instead of all bliss and naked rooms we have a new dynamic developing.  That is the dynamic of Port'<'Man (that's me!) annoying the hell out of her heinous. So I developed a top 10 list of things that make the Red Queen want to yell "off with his head".

1.  Any of a host of things that start with her saying "There's a smell.."

2.  Any of Port'<'Mans hair strands found in the house which are not immediately attached to his body at the present time.

3. Fanning the covers when entering the bed at night i.e. letting in cold air into her warm cocoon

4. Same idea as above, Waving a cold body part in the general vicinity of  her.

5. This one can be summarized by the advice "Never Sit on anything while naked". Ruins the naked room doesn't it.

6. Sullying the glass cooking surface on our GE range. If you even look at that thing cross eyed it gets messy.

7. Leaving a stain on anything. I wont elaborate, but you can use your imagination here!

8. Lets face it, used workout clothes stink and P'<'Man makes a lot of them. The RQ and P'<' have a well developed system of processing these clothes. However occasionally a garment finds it way into the wrong receptacle and its, you guessed it. Its  "Off with his head!"

9. Blowing air anywhere near her auditory receptors.

10. For this one she just says "You have breath..."

and a bonus one

11. P'<'Man sitting on the couch and placing his grasping agents in and around areas usually reserved for his under garments. After which event takes place, the offending objects are now regarded as equivalent to being radioactive or infected and must be cleansed with soap  and water (or better yet acetone) and a scrub brush before they can touch any surface in the house again.