Ace is the place...

With the helpful hardware man. So says the radio commercial from a few years back. Well thats why I entered the Ace hardware store today, to be helped. If you are not familiar with hardware stores there are two type. The big box type where getting help in akin to finding the solution to Global warming and the small hometown type where you are immediately accosted upon entry and asked in a demanding may what your purpose is today and if you say I am just looking around you get the there is no way you are going to find what you need, even if you knew what you were doing. So it was, the helpful harware man approached me and said what can I do for you. I held out a 4 inch long 1/2 diameter piece of pipe and the following conversation ensues...
Me: "I am moving my son into his dorm room and we need something the same diameter and relative length of this ( I show him the pipe)".
 Helpful Hardware Man: "We dont have anything".
Me: " Thats funny because its simply 1/2 pipe..nothing in plumbing, Maybe 1/2 dia copper pipe?"
 Helpful Hardware Man: "Well we have some aluminum pipe about 8ft long but you will have to buy the whole piece"
Me: "How much is it?"
Helpful Hardware Man:"Dont know"
Me: "Where is it""
Helpful Hardware Man:" Down that isle take a left its at the end of the row on the left".. He then leaves.

So off I go into the plumbing department where I know for a fact they sell 1/2 inch diameter pipes about 4 to 8 inches long. I find one and take it to another Helpful Hardware Man.

Me: "I am moving my son into his dorm room and we lost this piece and I want to replace it with this piece and could you possibly drill two small holes in it?"

Another Helpful Hardware Man: "We don't have a drill. Sorry"

Now at this point I walk away and buy the little pipe. But what I am thinking its this.

WHAT! YOU DON'T HAVE A DRILL THIS IS A HARDWARE STORE FOR CHRIST SAKE. YOU MUST SERVICE ALL MANNER OF STUFF IN HERE. ITS JUST THAT I NEED YOUR SERVICE FOR MY SON WHO GOES TO THAT COLLEGE UP THE HILL THAT IS THE ONLY REASON THIS LITTLE HARDWARE STORE IN THIS LITTLE TOWN EXISTS CAUSE THERE IS NOTHING IN THIS TOWN BUT THAT COLLEGE. MAYBE YOU COULD RECOGNIZE THAT FACT AND GIVE ME A LITTLE ASSISTANCE. MAYBE YOU HAVE SO MUCH BUSINESS BECAUSE OF THAT COLLEGE THAT YOU ARE SO LAZY YOU DONT NEED TO MAKE ANY MONEY UNLESS THE MERCHANDISE SIMPLY FLYS OFF THE SHELVES AND SELLS ITSELF.

But instead I politely thank the Helpful Hardware man for his assistance.