The Oracle

Some say Billionaires split their time between losing golf balls and losing sail boat races. While Mr Ellison above, Owner of Oracle software and a bastion to bad grooming if nothing else, was busy winning the Americas cup,

 
 I was struggling to file an expense report because my computers Java (An Oracle product) was out of date.

After a bit of noodling and refusing to install the ask toolbar and MacAfee anti virus I managed to get my Java updated.  If Java was a sail boat I bet it would work better.

In case you have not heard, the Americas cup was won by Mr Ellisions check book, I mean team, after a stunning comeback after being down 8 sailboat races to one. How did the team achieve such a stunning comeback? Did they adopt some new brilliant strategy, did they dig deep and muster more courage or strength or will? No. They made the boat faster. Who makes boats faster? Engineer do. They also make cars more fuel efficient and safer, design better medical devices so we can be healthier, come up with green energy solutions so we don't cook our planet etc. So please Mr Ellison can I have a version of Java that does not get in my way and need to be continually updated, given you just won the Americas cup, that should not be too hard should it?

To the mattresses

Tiger Woods is currently suffering from a sore back. I read that he blamed it on a too soft hotel mattress. I would expect him to have people who go around previewing his accommodations and checking for such details as the firmness of the surface on which his Tigerness sleeps. Heck I bet there is someone who has a force gauge to test this stuff for him to make sure he gets a good nights rest before he embarks on his important duties of winning golf tournaments.

I dont think the mattress was the culprit.

Tigers former wife Elin Nordegren is 5' 11 ' and weighs 120 lbs

His new squeeze Lindsey Vonn is 5' 11' and tips the scales at 180 lbs. 5 pounds heavier than Portman. Shes a downhill skier. Force equals mass times acceleration.

So he traded his little Swedish model for a big American Muscle Car and he wonders why he has a sore back. I'm just sayin....