Togther Smoking

***Editors update:Our sincere apologies to lil B' he was originally left out of the roll call at the end of the post. He was in attendance and his name has been rightly added to the list.

Its a Saturday in August and its time to smoke some butt.

...not that kind of smokin

...and not that kind of butt

We are talking Pork Butt. Dry rub plenty of chipotle seasoning salt pepper, ground cloves onto a bone in pork shoulder to get it ready for its 5 hour smoke in the Weber

...

Here is the Weber a' Smokin with Hickory Chips soaked in water placed directly on the coals.

Here is whats going on inside. Indirect heat for 5 hours. Keep the damper cracked to maintain 300 deg F. I had to add fresh hardwood lump charcoal once at the 3 hour mark. Are your eyes getting dry from the smoke!

The finished pulled pork ready for a butter toasted bun. This was enjoyed by P<;, the RQ, Buttery Sticks, Lil B', Carrot Chopper***, Mr ODR and Mrs Prozak***. Sides of fresh slaw and potato salad accompanied.

 ***Note: Carrot Chopper does not eat animal products so she smoked a Tempe instead. Mrs Prozak does not eat animal products or drink alcohol, except when she does, which was not this evening.

lil B runs on smoked butt

Editorial note: Since lil' B was inexplicably left out of the the last post. Again our apologies to lil' B. We will feature him in this post.

lil B running in Upstate New York

Photo Credit: Carrot Chopper

Lil B is prepping for his final collegiate cross country season. On Sunday he does a long run of 14 miles. It helps to have the gorgeous country side of Western New York to make the miles go by, He is usually accompanied on a bike by either his nutritionist Carrot Chopper or his personal chef RQ. Today's workout was fueled and recovered using the smoked pork butt prepped by Portman (see previous post). Lil B is shown wearing his compression shorts which are loved by everyone who enjoys seeing the exact outline of his junk.

Ma Familia

I though I might take a minute and introduce my family

The Red Queen

Tim Burton didnt even get it close when he portrayed his wife in Alice in Wonderland. "Off with their heads", mild in comparison to what this queen will do to you if you cross her. A combination of Italian, Russian and Irish bloodlines topped with a red mane, yields an unwieldly mix of love, emotion and fire.

 Cream Puff

Most often seen driving a white Prius and hanging out with Pot Roast, Cream Puff boasts a stunning variety of culinary and design skills. 

Carrot Chopper

Carrot chopper can be found hanging out with Buttery Sticks and running her a** off. She is a known Vegan and foe to plants. She rips live carrots out of the ground, chops off their heads, skins them alive and eats them for breakfast (Gruesome). 

Little Brother

Little brother boasts a wide variety of ball juggeling skills and fancy dance moves. A known mohawk wearer, he is currently seeking a place of higher learning and a new love.

Port Man

Port man is a cancer survivior, father of three, three time half iron man finisher, all around great athlete and award winning Engineer. (Hey, If you want to boast about yourself get your own blog!).

I couldn't make this stuff up. I swear its all True

Lets review the weekend. Carrot Chopper came home after, true to her name, chopping off someone’s limb and proceeded to eat every avocado in sight as well as every nut, twig, berry, grain, fruit, vegetable or generally salady or grainy item, left my cupboards bear and did it all while standing up, including chopping off the limb.

Pot Roast eco drag raced a dude in an identical black Golf TDI. For those of you not familiar with eco drag racing it goes like this. You pull up to someone at a light in a car suitably matched to yours, say a Prius vs a Prius. Then you point to the person and finger wave in an intimidating manner. You both then shut off your engines and roll down your windows. You say “How much you getting” and you exchange gas mileages. The high number wins. Roast won the race, by the way, but we think he was coasting on the down hills.

The puff of cream came home with a knife collection to rival Jack the Rippers. We all were awed by the fact the every single item including the thermometer was etched with the CIA logo. I thought they would be more secretive than that.

Stick of Butter witnessed Portcullies massively bone headed move of karate kicking the China cabinet and smashing a glass picture frame to bits. I am really surprised the Red Queen didn’t jump up and chop off my head but chopper just handed me the dust pan instead.

Pot roast fashioned an Eastern European Check valve to fix the broken water system, during the repair the sump pump decided to let go and blow up in a plume of smoke. This garnered that ultimate male bonding ritual of a trip to Home Depot and a lightening of my incredibly generous fathers wallet by $200 bucks.

John Mayer showed up and played Lil Puffs grad party. Fabulous Stuff.

http://shawnwelchacoustics.com/about.asp

Lil B graduated from high school and we all started counting the days till his mess is out of my...I mean he leaves for college. And the naked room is only month away folks!

Muddy Sneaker

Today, I did a 20K off road half marathon called the Muddy Sneaker...and as you can see by the photo above, the race name does not disappoint.

 I usually always say this after my most recent race but this was one of the hardest races I have ever done.

The distance is really a poor indicator of the difficulty of the race, It took me 2 hours and 23 minutes to complete. The last 2 miles feature 800ft of elevation gain. That's an average of 8% grade on a rocky rooty trail for the last 2 miles of a half marathon. There are stream crossings, terrain that goes straight up, rocks, roots, mud so deep your entire foot sinks in. To top it off there was 40 degrees temperatures and 20 mph winds. It even started to snow at the higher elevations. One downhill was so steep and long my quads started to give out. The last 2 miles of the uphill I literally had to walk most of it. I would start running and my heart rate would peg at its maximum and my legs would literally stop moving. So it was back to the walk. Somehow, I managed to run the last 640 meters.
 
I did the race with Carrot Chopper as my pacer and motivator. CC was running so far under her capacity that she would stop to go the the restroom, I would keep running and she would catch up.

So I am left sore...exhausted.. Red Queen Less (She is at a seminar today)..in gastric distress ( I will leave out the details) and my sneakers are dirty. Cant wait to do it again next year!

Happy New Year Photo Shoot

I usually pick one photo for our holiday /new years family card. However this year, one particular family member who will remain named Carrot Chopper decided to ham it up and strike a few poses for the camera. So I posted the entire shoot because its so hilarious. Click on the photos and blow em up they are funny.

Honey Spectator

This is not the B sample from my latest Cyclocross Union drug test. No its the pure nectar of the gods, honey, produced by bees enslaved by Mr. Odr.



Lets see what Honey Spectator had to say about it

....Mr Odrs honey is partially digested then regurgitated insect food which was supposed to be the winter food stores for an entire community when it was stolen by Mr. Odor after 50,000 hard working bees spent the entire summer producing it (Yes carrot chopper is pissed). It contains the overtones of the Mangan back yard including Sunflowers planted by Mrs Prozac. It has the smokey notes of mower exhaust and Mr Odrs arm pits due to him mowing the lawn shirtless. Honey Spectator gave it a 4 stinger rating out of 5 stingers.

Portman is gaining weight

Cream Puff and the RQ have been doing a pretty good job of stuffing Portman with food lately. Portman is getting fat and he has a 20K trail run to complete in soon. I cant wait till Carrot Chopper gets home and puts us on the Vegan Diet plan so I can lose some of this excess lamb from my frame.

Huaraches

The Cream Puff, the RQ and I have entered the barefoot running craze. It started when I read the book "Born to Run". A few years later I find myself making sandals Huaraches (wah-rah-cheh ). Today was my inaugural 5K run in these minimalist of minimalist footwear. (RQs been doing it for a few weeks) I feel like a member of the Rarámuri or Tarahumara. The Native American running people featured in the book. I started by trying to cut up an old tire as the book says the Tarahumara did before the Leadville 100. Turns out tires are 3/4 of an inch thick and have steel strands in them. Too heavy too hard to cut and way too thick. Some research yielded better raw materials which I purchased to make them.

These are fantastic, your stride instantly transforms into a natural mid-foot strike, soft high knee form of running which feels utterly natural. Sometimes you hit little painful rocks under your feet and your knee naturally buckles in response to absorb the shock. A bit disconcerting at first but the RQ assures me it becomes second nature after a few runs. You get sensory as well as audible feedback. When I first started running in them it was slap slap slapping along. Oh my I have to make that stop, A few strides later I am gliding along silently. This is how we were born to run! To steal a phrase from the popular book.

Now excuse me I have to go make a pair of Huaraches for the Carrot Chopper.

This really sucks

Above is our Kirby Vacuum. Its as old as Carrot Chopper. It still has the best suction of any vacuum on the market. Recently is suffered a breakdown of some of it components. After researching the matter thoroughly, the RQ and I decided to attempt to repair it ourselves. We were able to bring it back up to like new conditions with about $80 in parts. This vacuum is built to last and fully serviceable. As such it has given us 25 years of use and there is no indication it wont last another 25. Most consumer items today are built to wear out in 5-7 years and then be disposed of. This keeps the initial costs low, the sales high and the landfills full. The total life cycle costs end up higher and consumers get flooded with cheap low quality products. We need to change this cycle. The problem is how to convince a consumer that buying a $500 vacuum over the $250 vacuum is a better deal. But consider Over 25 years you would have to purchase 5 $250 vacuums at a total cost of $1250 vs $500 for the well built unit with say $250 in repair parts over this life time. That's a savings of $500 and 4 less vacuums in a landfill. And thats what really sucks!

Top Chef

 

Cream Puff has done it again with her Chef Gregory Barnhill, winning Best Entree and Best in Show at the Colorado Springs Chorale Chefs Gala . OK its not the Food Network and they are a AAA Four-Diamond restaurant and they did make surf and turf and sir sous vide short rib scallop and duck confit (Sorry Carrot Chopper) with asparagus and saffron potato puree. How can that dish not win!