Halloween Cyclocross

Today was the annual cyclocross race at camp arrowhead. Its a halloween race so people dress up and it a blast. There was "Super Girl" the women started 1 minute behind the men. My goal was to keep Super Girl behind me. She is a friend of mine and she seriously dusted my ass at the last mountain bike race we did so I was really stoked to keep her at bay. I did. Although that did not stop me from getting girled by one woman.
This race was very exciting because it was my first one back from recovering from my year of harrowing accidents. I finished and felt I did really well. I didnt want to push myself too hard so I wore my heart rate monitor. Well I managed to keep my heart rate around 179 for the entire race. Considering my max is 181 this is pretty high. It felt good though. Anne Marie Piotr and Deb all came out to watch and it was great to have them there and to have my friend Rob there racing with me. I only fell once going up the hill you see. Someone was in my way and I fell sideways. No damage however. There was one very difficult downhill section which every timeI got down one of thes things I feel like I am going to flip over the bars and end up with another chest tube. I hope this feeling goes away soon.
So back to the costumes one guyed dressed up as Nacho Libre. Nacho Libre ended up crashing pretty hard into one of the barriers and that ended his day. Fortunately I survived and will race next Sunday at Ellison park. The link to results is on www.yellowjacketracing.com

Tube Out

My chest tube has been removed. It hurt 1000 times less coming out than going in. The narcotic required to alleviate the pain of the tube is no longer required. I am just on some Motrin. I feel deflated, flushed and exhausted. I will go home either tonight or tomorrow night. Thanks to everyone who visited called, sent flowers, e-mails, read this blog, brought me dinner, cookies etc. It really made a difference in my healing process. Regards, Gary

Deflated middle age guy

I was just reading the Jacked up Old Man Blog. Holy crap is he jacked up. His workouts also seem very vigorous. Here is an excerpt "I hooked up a harness and pulled my car while roller skiing". "For added resistance I put the car in gear" That wasn't quite hard enough so I pulled it up Water Tower hill. I did 16 repeats at threshold pace"

Jacked up old man loves tech gear too. He could get a hybrid and charge the battery while he works out. He could use the cars hybrid computer as a power meter!

Scary Noises

As my wife says I make loud noises. Now before you get too imaginative, let me explain.
1) Tiger sinks a putt to win the US Open. I scream and shout for joy.
2) Windows crashes (which is a lot). I yell a curse
3) Pinch my finger in pliers. I cuss again. Not bad ones mind you, no matter what you hear from my kids.
4) Break my rib in two, I yell loud enough for my friend to hear me 1/2 mile away.
5) Tear every ligament in my knee (except the ACL), I scream loud enough that people start dialing 911 right away. These are safety features

So when I had the chest tube put in with only a local anesthesia, the surgeon, and everyone in the room jumped back about 2 feet when I screamed, after they shoved the tube into my chest. They said I scared them. What? these people deal with drug overdoses, shooting victims, car crashes and I scare them with my blood curtling shrieks. My wife is right.

Horse Shoes and Hand Grenades

They say that close only counts in these two events. I have been close a number of times this week
1) I was close to making it down the hill when the bike flipped
2) I was close to being sent home from the urgent care when I almost passed out
3) I was close to being discharged from the emergency room when they saw a pneumothorax on my lung
4) I was close to being discharged from the hospital the next day when they took a final x-ray and saw my lung was collapsing
5) I was close to having my chest tube out when they saw the lung was collapsing again

Poop

Yea! I just took the largest Poo ever. 4 days of no poo then landslide!!

If you dont ask

Well its night 4 in the hospital. I am finally able to sleep due to a few changes
1) I had them close the door and turn off the lights. They normally leave the door to the room wide open and all the lights on.

2) I had them turn off the ridiculously loud alarms om my neighbors IV machine. I was the only one responding to it anyway. It would go off for 5 minutes and I would push my call button.

3) It seems no matter how asleep you are they insist on taking your temperature and blood pressure every 3 hours.

4) My new room mate has stopped making explosive bodily function noises. You haven't lived until you have heard someone take a huge dump in a bed pan. This is followed by farts louder than the IV alarm. Man that must feel good, I havent pooped in 4 days. Daddy needs to drop some logs.

5) I have pretty much figured out if you don't ask for it your just going to lay here and rot.

What did you think they meant?

When 4” isn’t quite enough and 6” is a bit too much.

Jamisbikes Sales blurb touting the benefits if a 5" travel mountain bike suspension

Hosptial Stay

I am layed up in the hospital with a tube connecting me to the wall so I thought I might share some of my thoughts and experiences.
It seems to take a long time to get things after you ask for them here are a few examples.
1) 600 mg motrin. 6 hours
2) Shot of Tramadol so I can stop wreathing in pain. 4 hours. They wanted to see if the Motrin would work first but it took a while to get (see above). They kept asking me my pain on a scale of 1 to 10. It had been a 9 for about 2 hours before they got around to getting me the shot.
3) Saline nasal solution so my nose lining will stop pealing off. 8 hours. They had to get it prescribed from the pharmacy. Its salt water for god sake.
4) Lotion so I can stop itching my ass off in the dry air in this hosptal. 8 hours. I asked 6 people for it several times.
5) We are now in hour 2 waiting for a laxative. I hope it comes soon....I havn't pooped since I have been here (3 days)
6) I am randomly visited by several different doctors each day. One Dr came in said he wanted to take my tube out but he first wanted to look at my x-ray. He left and said he would be back but he never returned.
7) I arrived here with X-rays from another emergency facility. As soon as we entered the door the x-rays were lost and never seen again.
8) I wanted a breath rite nasal strip so I can breath better. I am supposed to be taking deep breaths but my nose is clogged due to being dry. Two doctors told me to get someone I know to bring it in from the outside and that would be the only way I would get it.
9) I am told by several Dr's I am going to get this and that say Oxygen or a breathing machine. These things never arrive so I ask about them. After about the third or fourth time asking they eventually show up.

Bethpage Black

My son and I played the US Open golf course last weekend. Here is what the course did to me (on the left). A 49 on the front nine for me. We only got in 4 holes on the back. I did par the last hole I played in the dark.
My son fared better shooting a 38 on the front and was 2 over after 4 holes on the back. He was ecstatic. Here are a couple of note worthy things about the course..note worthy because of what the course in lacking.
1) There are no holes in the practice putting greens.
2) There is no chipping on the practice greens
3) There are no practice bunkers.
4) There is no grass driving range. Just a little facility with matts. (They use a couple of fairways from one of the other courses for the range during the open.
5) There is no using of drivers on the practice range.
6) The greens are not that fast and they have very little slope. They are huge however.
7) The rough around the fairways in not that high.
8) There are no ball washers.
9) There are no yardage stakes. Just very infrequent marking on sprinkler heads. Want to know how far to carry a bunker? Good luck. Hope you bought a yardage book, GPS or rangefinder. Your going to need it, because the bunkers are set up where you absolutely need to know their distance to determine where to aim your tee shot or approach shot.
10) There are no course marshals. Play is agonizingly slow. A 6 hour round in typical.
11) It seems a lot of people who play the course cant read the famous sign shown in the pictures above. A couple of guys in the group ahead of us couldn't get their tee shots past the ladies tees (Invoking a rather embarrassing and unfortunate rule)

Over the Top

Well I guess timing and placement are everything. Last February I tore three of the four ligaments in my knee when my cross country ski hit a root on a downhill trail. Yesterday I broke my ninth rib when my back hit a tree branch on the ground while mountain biking.

So here is the whole story. I was mountain biking with my friend Piotr at Dryer Road park Tuesday. He is a very good downhill biker and was instructing me on how to ride a very difficult trail named CMP (Check my Pants). We had worked on a few runs of a technical section and I was riding it well. We were ready to go so I told him to follow the rest of the trail out. I had ridden this section before and did not remember it to be too difficult, but I came upon a log drop off where I could not see the landing so I took a small escape trail to the left. I must have applied too much front brake (Thats the timing part) but the next thing I knew I was over the top of the bars and slammed my back against the ground, although I hit something very hard in the exact spot of impact. When I stopped reathing in pain I noticed a branch stuck to my back. I though it had impaled into my back but it came off easily. However it was across the exact section which I felt the pain... an ambulance ride later I have a broken 9th rib and a collapsed lung..and I am the proud owner of a chest tube. Most painful thing I have ever been through. They do it while you are under a local anesthetic only.